Where's My Money, Jew!
by Emperor Void
Summary: (Based on the famous, "Where's my money?" scene from Family Guy.) Kyle owes Cartman 50, and the fat boy wants it. NOW.


**_Hey! So, I got bored one day and decided to watch some of my favorite moments from Family Guy. Suddenly, as I finished watching this set of clips, this story came up in my head. I just hoped I did the two characters right. So, enjoy the story!_**

* * *

It's morning in the small mountain town of South Park. We open in the bathroom of Kyle Broflovski. He just finished taking a shower and put a towel around his waist. As he opened the door, he was surprised to see Eric Cartman standing there with a glass of orange juice.

"What the? What are you doing here Cartman?" Kyle asked in confusion. "Oh, hey Kyle." He said with a smirk, "So, it's been 24 hours. You got my money?"

Kyle's eyes widened a bit. 'S*!' He thought, 'Why did I bet $50 against him because of that wrestling match?' "Oh, well just give me till next Friday and I'll have it for you." Kyle said. Cartman's smirk vanished and he said, "Oh, that's funny. I could've sworn you'd have it today."

"Yeah, I don't have it. Sorry." Kyle said. "Oh, alright then." The fat boy said with a smile before drinking all the juice. "Mm, that's good OJ."

Then, suddenly, he smashed the empty glass into Kyle's face, causing him to start screaming with the glass in his face. "That hurt?" Cartman asked, "Yeah, that hurt?" "What the hell, fata*?!" Kyle screamed in pain and anger.

"Yeah, don't feel so good, does it?" Cartman asked before kicking Kyle in the back of the leg and then kicked him to the ground. "Yeah, that's what happens, bruh." He said before kicking Kyle in the stomach, earning an, "Oh my god!" from the Jewish boy. "Yeah, that's what happens."

Cartman then grabbed Kyle by the neck and started punching him in the face while yelling, "Where's my money?! You gonna give me the money? Where's my money, Jew?! [Roll Credits! ; )]

Cartman pushed Kyle to the ground and walked to another part of the bathroom. As the Jewish boy tried to get up, Cartman ripped a towel rack off the wall and began hitting Kyle with it while yelling, "Where's the money?!"

Kyle resumed screaming and even started crying. "Yeah, that feel good? That feel good?!" Cartman then dragged him over to the toilet and pushed Kyle's head in, causing him to scream in it.

Cartman then began to slam down the toilet seat while yelling, "Where's the money, Jew?! Where's the money?" He then pushed Kyle to the floor and he began to breathe in and out. Cartman then dried off his hands with a towel before glaring at Kyle and saying, "You got till 5 o'clock! You hear me, Jew?! You got till 5 f*ing o'clock!"

"You f*ing psychopath!" Kyle said in an agonized and exasperated voice. "Eh, clean yourself up." Cartman said as he threw the towel on Kyle's face and left. When he slammed he door shut, Kyle just started weeping from under the towel.

* * *

We then see Stan and Kenny standing at the bus stop as Kyle, whose bandaged up badly, comes up next to them. They both notice him and their eyes widened. "Whoa, what the hell happened to you, man?" Stan asked.

Before Kyle spoke, Cartman came up and shot a glare at the red head. If looks could kill, the Jewish boy instantly die. "I uh... fell down the stairs." Kyle lied. "Oh, you should be more careful, Jew."

* * *

Later, at Kyle's, the boy comes out of his bathroom nervously. As he sees a golf ball come up, he gasps as he sees Cartman, who hasn't noticed the Jewish boy. He quickly rushes back into the bathroom and comes out with a fake mustache.

"Morning." Kyle says with a fake voice as he passes Cartman. "Sup bruh." The "big boned" boy said in a chill tone, before realizing and yelling, "Hey, wait a minute! What the hell?!"

It was at this moment that Kyle knew... he f*ed up.

He started running, but Cartman pushed him down his stairs. After falling, the Jewish boy groaned before yelling in pain as he was hit in the back by a golf club.

"Getting real tired of you ducking me, Jew." Cartman said as if he was some mob boss. He then hit Kyle a few more times while saying, "Yeah, getting really tired!"

Kyle yelled out in pain as Cartman continued, "Where's my money?!" He then turned Kyle onto his back as he said, "So, you got money to pay for fake mustaches, huh Jew? Uh huh. How much did you pay for that fake mustache?" "$2.99." Kyle said weakly...

Before getting shot in the knee by Cartman, who suddenly now had a hand gun. He screamed and held his knee in pain. Kyle then gave Cartman a pleading look and said, "Listen, Cartman. You just gotta give me more ti-"

He screamed out as Cartman shot him in the other knee. "Don't make a fool out of me, bruh." The fat boy said as he started smacking Kyle in the face with the barrel of the gun, "Don't make a f*ing fool out of me! I want my money! I want my money, Jew!"

He walked away and Kyle attempted to crawl away while saying, "Cartman, listen, this is crazy. You gon- OH SWEET MOTHER OF CHRIST!!!"

Cartman suddenly farted out a blast of fire at Kyle, who screamed in agony from the flames. When it finished, the fat boy walked over to Kyle, who was now charred with a look of defeat and acceptance on his face.

"Alright, let's go to the Bank."


End file.
